Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Spring Comes Calling At Last.

SUNDAY was a gloomy day for me. I don't quite know what the reason is for my "downness." Maybe you've noticed there haven't been quite as many posts. I've noticed others post about their bad days and health problems, but I really haven't wanted to do that. But this isn't just a blog for others. This is my journal. This is where I go to when I'm remembering the good times and the bad times.
Even this sunny picture here of the tulip tree in the back yard couldn't quite dispel the darkness.
So, yes, life has been gloomy lately and I've been fighting my own unhappy demons and regrets. But I think this keeps things in perspective. My life - no one's life - is all happy times filled with constantly blooming roses and sun shining in every window. Sometimes there are cobwebs in the corners and ugly little spiders lurking about. Memories come calling and bring with them sorrow and guilt. Time flies by and the calendar pages are ripped off one by one without goals being accomplished.
On Saturday I screamed as loud as I could - twice! I was so frustrated. I drew a picture of myself screaming. I looked mad and frustrated in the picture and you know why? Because I WAS!
(Here's a picture of my faceless lady statue in the back yard. A little blurry, but she's getting surrounded with a tulip uprising and the johnny jumpups are creeping up on her.)
Well, today I don't feel quite so hopeless but I can't tell you why. I didn't sleep well last night. I went to work today and it was a fairly busy day. After work I went to the Nordstrom Rack to return a pair of pants and ended up with another pair, a skirt and two cheap, thin tops I can layer like light underwear that will help keep me warm until summer is here. (I am perpetually cold!) I also bought a new purse. It's green. I'll show a photo of that tomorrow. I really hope this purse works out. Buying purses is sort of like trying to find the perfect babysitter for your children. None of them is ever quite "just right."
And I have more pictures of the papers I've been decorating. Can you find the bird I mentioned in the last post? It was a "happy accident" of the paint brayer.
Tomorrow night I am going to go quite mad with paint and do just gobs of these pieces of paper with all sorts of colors. But now it's almost 10:30 p.m. and our accountant still hasn't called with our tax information, so I'm wondering if we will have to file for an extension? Does this mean more money for Uncle Sam? Drat! I shouldn't have bought that purse - femminismo


Seth said...

Glad you are feeling better. And those papers looks wonderful!

Candace said...

Here is hoping you come out on top of your "cobwebs of the mind" ... you're right, we all have regrets at times. I find nature and art go hand in hand to help. And screaming -- always good.

The faceless lady in the jumpups is wonderful... and so are these papers. Paint more, Pal, paint even more!
xo Candace

Martha said...

I've been feeling blue, too. It keeps on raining and freezing and then 1 or 2 nice days then rain and freezing.....I actually worked outside yesterday despite the mud.

I can't wait to start some serious still life photography shooting as soon as my flowers come up, but first I have a lot of planting to do. (Today check out my posting for the day on a still life image I did previously of some peonies) this is at http://photographyhints.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Hi Jeanne--Spring IS a hard time because we have lost so many of the people important to us in the early months of the year. Was also wondering...have you had your thyroid function tested lately? Just that the things you mentioned (feeling down, always being cold, etc) makes this dietitian curious. Wouldn't hurt to check if you haven't already.
Love you, Judy